Raising a Farmer

Vivian had her final doctor appointment last week for her broken arm.  Her arm is healing and will continue to heal.  When Vivian first broke her arm I had felt so guilty.  We prepared ourselves to have a one year old in a cast trying to give a bath, trying to keep somewhat clean going to the barn to the house back out to the barn.  A sock, Press n’Seal, Ziplock bags and more socks became our best friends.  What probably made it worse for me as a mom is it didn’t bother Vivian in the slightest.  Where I just wanted to hold her and smother her in love.  She wanted none of the extra attention.  I was expecting her to be clingy, whining maybe wanting to snuggle more.  Nope.  That was not happening with Vivian.  Even the day of her procedure in the OR to straighten her arm, hospital staff had questioned why she was there because she was headed down the hall.  It was almost impossible to keep her in her hospital room.  She is strong willed and independent.  She was not going to let a broken arm slow her down and she didn’t.

When Vivian wiggled herself out of her cast the doctor decided it would be best to leave it off.  She isn’t in any pain because she was able to maneuver out of a full arm cast.  We monitored her healing with x-rays, x-rays and more x-rays.  It was amazing to watch her healing from her initial break to now.  When a bone is broken the body sends tons of calcium to the break.  It creates a weld where the break is.  We were able to feel this weld, bump on Vivian’s arm.  Once the body realizes it is healing it starts to take away calcium and smooths out the bone.  At her age because she is growing like a freight train it benefits her healing.  If she would have been an adult or even older she would of had to have rods and pins and it would have been much worse. On her last x-ray we could see how her body is beginning to build more bone up to straighten out her curve in her arm. She still has a slight bend but it has and will continue to straighten for about 3 months.  The body is amazing.  At Vivian’s age kids know what they can and can not do.  They listen to their bodies more than what adults do.  Where adults will power through the pain or over do something.  Little kids limit themselves.  They listen to their bodies.  The human body is pretty amazing.

Our ever independent Vivian

Many times when we think of 4H we first think of fair time and livestock.  When I talked to families about joining 4H, usually the first statement is,  “We don’t have animals?”  “We don’t have any animals to take to the fair.”  4H goes way beyond the fair.  While fair time is an exciting time for 4H’ers, it isn’t the only part of 4H.  No doubt getting ready for the fair takes a lot of preparation.  Many hours of work, sweat and tears goes into fair projects whether it is a livestock project or a non-livestock project. Fair time isn’t the only part of 4H.  More importantly 4H members are given valuable skills through out the year.  These skills go beyond the fair and creates strong members of our community.

The 4H Pledge which is recited at every meeting after the Pledge of Allegiance goes as follows:

4H is about building leaders.  Leaders who will be strong and confident.  Leaders who will think for the better of their community.  4H members are giving the skill set of how a meeting is conducted.  At every club meeting a demonstration is presented by a 4H’er.  This gives confidence and public speaking skills to the kids.  A skill we all use sometime in our life.  As a 4H Volunteer it is our job to help guide and find the strengths in each 4H’er so they are able to flourish through out the year.  I encourage you to contact your local Extension Office to find a 4H Club near you.

Everett and I along with other 4H members of Morrison County attended Morrison County’s Breakfast with the Commissioners.  Here is where 4H week is celebrated in Morrison County. 4H’ers visit with our commissioners.  Commissioners during the breakfast recognize how important 4H is to our community.  Everett sat at the table before the meeting began with all the commissioners.  As I sat in the audience watching my 7 year old among the county commissioners, Everett sat proud and confident.  He proudly talked about how he shows his cow 304 at the Morrison County Fair.  He proudly wore his Snappy Elmdaler shirt.  Everett’s fellow club members showed support in each other as they passed the mic around introducing themselves and projects they enjoy through 4H.  4H gives kids a voice.  Their small voices may be small but they are important.  A voice that is filled with more confidence each passing year into young adults.  A voice of a leader.  4H is building leaders.  I am a proud 4H mom.

Everett with the Morrison County Commissioners

Everett surrounded by his fellow Snappy Elmdalers.  A club who is loyal to each other.  

Celebrating 4H Week

One of my favorite weeks of the school year is homecoming.  When I was in high school I loved homecoming week.  Decorating class halls.  Each day designated a theme to dress up at school.  I loved homecoming.  Royalty chosen among us.  Having my own 2nd grader get excited about homecoming and wanting to show school spirit by dressing up each day brings me joy.  He asks everyday,  “What day is tomorrow?”  He plans out how he can show school spirit.

When I was a 1st grader I was chosen to carry up the Homecoming king’s crown for coronation.  I remember sitting in the blue chair looking at the seniors.  They were so big.  They were huge.  I was so small.  During practice the crown slid off my the pillow crashing to the floor.  A piece chipped off.  The king candidates dove to the floor “I’ve got a piece of gold.”  As they picked up the broken piece.  I was mortified.  I was thankful it was the practice crown and not the real crown.  It helped to laugh, I knew it wasn’t real gold but I knew I couldn’t drop the real crown during coronation.  I remember walking to the stage through the auditorium during coronation, the room black with only a spotlight to show our way.  For a 1st grader to ride around the football field in a convertible at half time was a big deal. Even if winter jackets and hats covered up our pretty dresses.  I didn’t think it could get much better.

When I look back over high school, I can honestly say homecoming week was always the best.  I loved to dress up each day.  Pajama Day was and is my favorite, the next day all the students would were their finest for Dress Up day.  Homecoming candidates king and queen would wear their formals.  Skit night and coronation was always looked forward to.  Who was going to do a skit and what would it be?  My senior year I still remember when I found out I would be a homecoming candidate.  My best friend Shannon and I played doubles in tennis.  After our tennis match we went to the volleyball game at our rival school to cheer on the volleyball team.  That is when we found out from a fellow classmate we were part of the five homecoming candidates.  To love homecoming and be a homecoming candidate was an awesome feeling.  To watch your best friend be crowned homecoming queen was better yet.  When I was a first grader I thought carrying the crown was the best thing ever, when I was a senior I thought being homecoming royalty was the best thing ever.  Watching Everett get excited about homecoming is better yet.   

This past May, Nathan’s younger brother and his bride stood before their wedding guests on our farm.  Surrounded by friends and family they spoke their vows each had written to each other.  It took a small army to get the farm wedding day ready;  helping weed, mow the lawn, cleaning out the those “some day ” corners on a farm, cleaning out the shop, helping with chores and getting the house cleaned for the wedding party.  Nathan and I are forever grateful for all the help we had and there is no way we would have been able to do it on our own.

As Nate and I were making mental notes all winter and spring of what needed to be done for the up coming nuptials, the dreaded question, “What if it rains?”  was always asked.  We had plan B in place.  The wedding would be in the shop if it would rain, but the ever optimistic in me.  “It is not going to rain!”

Wedding week had a arrived, scattered showers blessed us through out the week and radar for Saturday was “Scattered Showers”.   Friday evening as the wedding party arrived for practice and the groom supper we set out chairs ready for the wedding the next day.  I think Nate and I wore out our weather app for how many times we had checked it.  “What does your phone say?” was a question for everyone who came into the yard.  Wedding morning came with final details.  Nate was finishing up chores, Everett was off with his Uncle Paul and cousin Katie for wedding pictures.  My aunt Julie was keeping Vivian occupied and neighbors helping get bubbles ready and tables outside perfect with flowers.  About 2 hours before the ceremony it began to mist.  Family gathered in the backyard to take pictures.  Will the rain hold off?  Umbrellas began to come out.  I stood underneath a tree in our front yard with our car parkers (my brother, friends and neighbors) each comparing their weather apps,  “Brenda, you have to make a decision.”  I said I would give it till 2:15 before we start moving chairs into the shop enough time for the ceremony to begin at 3pm.

It broke my heart to have to tell Vanessa and Mark we needed to move the ceremony into the shop. The mist began to turn into rain.  My heart broke for Vanessa, a beautiful backyard wedding was planned and it needed to be moved to a farm shop.  My heart broke, our backyard was so pretty.  Just the night before after the grooms supper Nate and I sat in the chairs in awe of how beautiful our backyard looked,  thankful for all the help we had.  It was perfect.  Now it needed to be moved to the shop.  A shop with wet floors from the rain.  Vanessa along with their wedding party gathered in the house to stay out of the rain.  Flower girls and ring bearers played with Everett and Vivian’s toys.  About 20 minutes before the ceremony as guest began to arrive I remembered I still had Nathan and I’s wedding runner from our wedding (11 years ago) at my aunt Theresa’s house.  I quickly called her hoping she was home and able to bring it.  She made it just in time.

The ceremony was ready to begin.  The wedding party came from the house to the shop with each having an umbrella.  Ushers and car parkers became umbrella gathers.  As the little people came from the house (mine especially) got side tracked by something and uncle Phil needed to redirect them to the shop.  One little flower girl brought out Vivian’s dolls and high chair.  Vanessa came from the house.  I watched as her dad’s helped her across the yard.  Helping her with her dress, holding an umbrella, surrounding her with love only dads can do.  Vanessa came into the shop and it completely changed.  It was a wedding, her dads walked her down the aisle.  Giving her hand to the man who would be her husband in a short time.  As Vanessa and Mark stood in front, my sister in-law and I looked at each other caught off guard how emotional we were getting.  How can a wedding in a farm shop be a beautiful thing?  It was perfect.  Nathan welcomed Mark and Vanessa’s wedding guests to our farm as he united them as husband and wife.  A farm even when you move off of it is still home.  It is home.  It is home to Nathan and his siblings were they made manure pits for their toy tractors, rafts to float on the pond and rode their bikes as kids.  A place were their children come to explore.      

As Nate spoke to Mark and Vanessa I stood in the back filled with joy and love.  Love to Nate the man I married and the wonderful life he has given us.  Nate also gave some advice.  “When Vanessa makes a meal never ever say, ‘That’s not how mom used to do it.'”    

There are things I feel like I can never get ahead of laundry, toys, piles on the kitchen table, laundry, toys, rocks and other things Everett brings into the house did I mention laundry.  I was so proud of myself one day for clearing off our kitchen table I put a table cloth out.  I was beyond proud of myself.  When Everett came home from school that day the first thing he said was, “Who’s coming over?”  “Why do you ask that?”, I asked.  He mater of factually replied pointing to the table, “Because the table looks like this.”  Thank you Everett for bringing me back to reality.

The door going outside from in the laundry room we call the “barn door”.  We call it the barn door because this is the door we use when we are going to the barn.  Our barn boots, barn clothes, barn jackets, barn everything we keep in our laundry room.  Thus begins the vicious cycle of laundry.  Barn clothes and good clothes.  Good clothes piled in laundry baskets in our bedrooms and barn clothes overflowing laundry baskets in the laundry room.  Sometimes the dryer door is just opened and barn clothes are piled in front of the dryer.  This is my demon.  Clothes.  Even when I feel like I am getting ahead.  Night time comes and barn clothes are again in the dirty basket.

After morning milking today I was thankful for my pile of laundry in the laundry room.  Vivian had fallen asleep during morning milking.  Vivian is down to one nap during the day.    Usually when she falls asleep in the barn when I pick her up out of her pack ‘n play she instantly wakes up.  Today she stayed sleeping.  As she slept on the way to the house I debated what I should do with her.  She can’t go in her crib with barn clothes on.  As soon as I would try and take her barn jacket off she will wake up.  If I wake her up now will she sleep later.  As I walked through the barn door to the house, I was thankful for my pile of clean barn clothes in front of the dryer staring at me.  Most days I grumble to myself and ask myself why can’t I get control of the clothes situation or beat myself up of how I am failing at laundry.  Today I was thankful.   It made for the perfect spot for Vivian to finish her nap.  Sometimes a pile of laundry is a good thing.    

Accidents happen.  Farm accidents happen.  Dairy farmers do everything in their power to prevent an accident but they can still happen.  As dairy farmers raising our children side by side with us each and everyday the word safety has a different, more powerful meaning.  Dairy farm kids are taught at a very young age about safety on a farm.  When the word “accident” is used on a dairy farm it usually means more than a band aid.  Safety is always on the top of the list for farm parents because we know what “it could be worse” means.  There are many farm families who carry the burden of this harsh reality on their hearts.  Raising a family on a dairy farm we know our children are in danger as soon as they step outside our front door.

Vivian plays in her pack n’play everyday in the barn during morning and evening milking.  Being in her pack n’play in the barn is the safest place for her to be.  One Thursday night during evening milking, Vivian climbed out of her pack n’play falling onto the cement breaking her left arm.  As soon as Nate picked her up he instantly knew she had broken her arm.  Everett and I rushed her to the ER while Nate finished up milking meeting us at the ER when he was finished milking.

Snuggles from Dad always make it better and her BB’s (her blankets)

X-rays were taken and it was confirmed she had broken both bones in her arm, halfway between her wrist and her elbow.  At her orthopedic appointment a few days later it was decided Vivian would need to be sedated so her arm could be set so her bones would be able to heal straight.  Vivian was to be in a cast for 6-8 weeks.

 Before and after her procedure to set her arm.  She was ready to go home.    

Vivian is healing and hasn’t let a cast slow her down.  She has figured out how to use her cast as a hook, a cane, a tool, and to beat Everett with it.  Our sweet Vivian always has other plans and continues to surprise us.  Tuesday morning when I went to Vivian’s crib as she stood smiling and talking, I looked at her and thought, “You look different?” Instantly I realized she didn’t have her cast on!  Vivian worked her way out of her full arm cast!  She looked at her cast in her crib threw it out and said, “YUCK!”  I quickly called the clinic,  x-rays were taken to make sure it was still in align.  As we discussed with the doctor what the next plan should be for Vivian, who happens to be Nate’s uncle, Vivian’s main doctor was out for the day.  Vivian is healing strongly.  “I’ve never had a kid get out of a full arm cast.” The Doctor told us.  It was decided Vivian wouldn’t need another cast because if she was able to get out of a full arm cast she will not keep a short arm cast on.  We will go back next week for more x-rays to make sure her arm continues to heal.  I know this is an accident which could easily happen in the house but I can not help my dairy mom guilt go into over drive because it happened in the barn.

I remember Everett entering his school open house as a kindergartner

.  I was terrified for the both of us.  I didn’t know any of the teachers.  Only a few of the faces were familiar to me as we walked the halls.  How could he be ready for kindergarten?  How will he not get lost?  How will he navigate his day without me?  Will he be scared?  How can I let him go all day every day and only rely on feedback from him?  Will his teacher be kind?  How can someone else console my child I don’t know?  So many questions I had asked myself.  I encouraged and talked school up to Everett leading up to the start of school, while inside I was terrified for him.

Tonight I saw our son in the middle of boyhood entering 2nd grade, confidently walk into his school.  Knowing exactly which new room is his.  Knowing exactly who his teacher is.  (All summer he has been hoping for her)  As we walked to one of the information tables in the hall the Dean of Students cheerfully said, “It’s good to see you Ev!”  As we walked the hallway his fellow classmates asking him who his  new teacher is.  Two short years ago I was terrified for him and for me as he started school.  Now, faces are familiar.  Now Everett goes and says “Hi” to his past teachers knowing the short cuts through the school.  His 1st grade teacher asked him about the fair and his summer with a smile.  As we waited in the door way to see his kindergarten teacher, I could hear some of the parents ask about busing and the same questions I had asked as a mom sending her first to school.  I too was that mom, terrified inside but trying so hard to hold it together on the outside.  How is Everett going to navigate changing buses?  I too was that mom worried about her kindergartner.  I too was that mom not knowing if we were ready for school.  Now we are making our rounds to Everett’s past teachers.

Nathan and I are not the only ones who help shape Everett into the confident little boy he is but his teachers have a huge part.  They help guide him, encourage him, love on him and help him make good choices when we are not there.  His teachers have consoled Everett, told him “No you need to do your work now, not at home.” and encouraged him along the way when he works hard.  I wish an awesome year to all the teachers as you are the compass keepers of school and navigate the halls of school.  Especially Mrs. Alholm, Mrs. Tomala and Mrs. DeCann you are very special to us and our little boy.

Getting everything set up in his 2nd Grade desk, first time for a desk.  Big milestone for grade schooler.

I love Beauty & the Beast and Pocahontas.  People that know me will probably say this is an understatement.  I know each and every song.  I can probably say each and every line of the movies.  “Little town, Little quiet village…..”  “Just around the river bend beyond the shore….”   When I was 12 Santa brought me Beauty & the Beast dolls.  I thought I was in heaven.  The next Christmas came, Santa surprised me with a Beauty & the Beast comforter and sheets.  My world as a 13 year old was whole.  I love Beauty &the Beast still to this day.

Fast forward several years, I am blessed with a daughter.  A daughter who receives gifts from friends and family based on my loves.  A Belle baby doll, a Beauty &  the Beast tea set, Pocahontas,  a Beauty & the Beast sippy cup to name a few.  Yes, I know I am more excited about this than she is.  Last fall I was able to meet Pocahontas.  As I waited in line to meet her with my son sitting in Vivian’s stroller not really wanting to be there, my aunt and cousin helping hold Vivian a sudden excitement came over me.  I am an adult.  I should be able to keep my emotions in check.  Nope not me.  I began singing, “Just around the river bend.”  Yes, kids who should be singing her songs were starring at me as excitement came over me, I was going to meet Pocahontas!!  As she came around the corner, I exclaimed, “There she is!!”  As I walked away from her in awe, I told my aunt and cousin “If I met Belle I know I would have pee my pants!”  Little did I know that would be in my near future.  

I had time to prepare myself when I found out Belle was going to be at the Morrison County Fair this summer.  I had time to sing her songs.  I had time to talk myself out of my 12 year old self.  I had time.  I had time to prepare myself and gain my composure before I met Belle.  Belle was standing there and I was in awe.  She was there at the Morrison County Fair.  As I walked up to her, just like Pocahontas did she put her attention to Everett first.  Just like the fall before with Pocahontas I was scared to touch her, she might disappear.  I exclaimed, “I Love you!  I love your movies!  I have loved you since I was little!”  The best part about meeting Belle at the fair was we were able to take a picture with the cows.  Yes my adult brain tells me I know they are ladies probably working through college but my heart full of emotions tell me they are the princesses I grew up with.  They were everything I could imagine and more.  My favorite princesses bringing out my childhood heart.             

This past weekend was the Morrison County Fair.  I was not ready for the weekend to start.  If I could of had another week I might have felt a little more prepared for the fair.  A week before the fair as Everett was practicing with one of his calves (which both were really not wanting to participate) a neighbor asked, “Why do you go?”  At that moment I didn’t have a good answer for him because if I would have went with what I was feeling at that very moment it would not have been a good answer.  The next day Everett had a better day working with his calf and we were one day closer to the fair.

This year my niece and nephew decided they also wanted to show calves at the fair.  As we waited for our turn to go into the ring for Open Class Spring Calves, the kids’ fellow 4-H’ers were also waiting.  I counted.  7 kids in show clothes waiting and loving on there calves.  2 other kids encouraging and walking alongside their fellow 4-H’ers before they go into the ring.  7 dairy calves about to go into the ring and only one of those kids lives on a dairy farm. Everett was the only one who lives on a dairy farm but there were 6 other kids falling in love with dairy cows.  

Show time isn’t just in the ring.  Through out the four days, I see kids working together.  I see parents supporting their kids and giving them encouraging words right before they go into the ring.  I see Everett sharing his love for 304, 400, 433 and his calf at the fair.  When Everett, Noah and Elyn placed at the end of the line, the judge took a few extra seconds to tell each of them how well they handled their animals in the ring.  This is a proud mom and aunt moment.  To me those words mean more than ribbons.  It shows the hard work kids do to get ready for the fair shows.  It makes the frustrating times when the calf gets away from you in the yard worth it.  I thought about the question our neighbor asked, “Why do you go?”  I can’t explain why we go, it isn’t a simple answer.  Right now the phase of fair Nathan and I are at is building confidence.  Building confidence in the ring and outside the ring.  Fostering the love of the fair.

Going to the fair is also about having fun.  After the Dairy and General Livestock show there is a dress up contest for 4H’ers.    It is the best way to end a stressful day of showing.  It is fun to see all the different costumes and unique ways you can dress an animal up as.  Everyone in the ring has a smile on their face!

Ready for the Costume Contest,  Everett and 304

Ready to go home.  All packed waiting for Nate to bring the trailer around.  

The night before fair and all was calm through the house.  If only this would be true.  All summer long, fair is in the back of our minds and before we know it it is here.  It is here and we are not ready for it, not even close.  A thunderstorm rolled through when we had designated a time for washing and clipping this evening.   Tonight Everett lost his first tooth.  I look at him and I wonder where my baby went.  All week Everett has been asking when the fair starts and now his conversations have shifted to if he should keep his tooth or leave it for the tooth fairy.  Last night our washing machine began to make a funny noise and today it was confirmed it was unfixable.  Awesome, was all I could say, night before fair and no washing machine.  Earlier this summer Nate was able to fix the washer.  I was hoping I was going to be able to get one more year out of it.  My washer had other plans.  Thank goodness for Facebook I was able to find a washer someone had, not being used looking to get rid of.  Nate went and picked it up right away.  We may not be ready for the fair but we will have clean clothes through out the weekend.

Head on over to the Morrison County Fair this weekend in Little Falls, MN.  The fair begins noon on Thursday till 5pm on Sunday.  Dairy 4H Show and Open Class are on Friday.  Ready or not Everett will be there with 304.  Come out to the fair,  give 304 some love and cheer on all the Morrison County 4H’ers.  They have all worked really hard this summer getting ready for the fair.  Make sure you take your time in the 4H Exhibit Building, walk through the barns and stop by the 4H Food Stand for a burger.  Come and enjoy the Morrison County Fair!