Raising a Farmer

Christmas Baking with Everett and Vivian.  Enjoy the mess.

As I walk to the barn each morning and night, I see the corner of our star on the silo peaking around the side. Nathan and Everett surprised me last year with a lighted star on the silo. It was the best Christmas season surprise. For several years I would say, “We should have a star on the silo.” When we come down the road we can see it. From the highway you can see it. It is the only Christmas light we have on the farm.

Last year our Christmas Star had a special place for me. It was a gift of love from Nate and Everett to think of the season of Christmas and what it brings. It also reminds me of how my dad after Christmas would turn all the Christmas lights off and leave just the star on until January 16. For me, this year, the star peaking around the corner of the barn is a glimmer of hope. Dairy farming has been tough this past year. It has been hard on our bodies, it has been hard on our minds and it has been hard on our hearts. Stress levels are high. There have been times when words have been sharper then intended. Frustrations of markets out of our control. When I see my Christmas Star this year I am given hope. Hope that dairy markets will continue to improve. I see only a glimpse of my Christmas star but if I walk to the other side of the silo I see the entire star, the bigger picture. When I am feeding calves and look up from the bitter cold instead of grumbling how cold it is and rushing back to the barn to warm my freezing hands. I see a bright star shining down on me. It gives me hope. It gives me courage to continue. It helps me see the bigger picture even if I can only see a part of it right now.

Dairy farming is hard. It is hard on the body but it is harder on the heart at times.

Saturday was a big day for Everett. Everett’s First Reconciliation was in the morning and early afternoon he had his very first violin recital. During the week leading up to Saturday, Nate and I were looking forward to Everett’s big day. Reciting prayers and practicing his violin for Saturday filled our week. We prepared Everett for what Saturday would bring. “A big day for Everett” was said many times during the week. We talked about how First Reconciliation is a huge step towards First Communion. Nate and I shared with Everett our own First Reconciliation experiences. Everett and I talked about the recital. We talked about the difference between being nervous and scared. Everett was nervous and excited about his big day. Nathan and I felt like we just brought our baby boy to church to be baptized and now he is taking steps towards First Communion. How is this happening? Nathan and I were excited to be able to share these moments with Everett. We knew Saturday morning was going to be tight to make it to St. Anna by 9 a.m., but we were confident it was going to work.

Saturday morning came. Nathan and I made our way to the barn for morning milking. As we were ready to begin milking I hit the switch to turn on the milk pump. Instantly my heart sank. The hum of the motor started but suddenly a loud rumble and all was silent. I knew this wasn’t going to be a simple fix. My heart sank with frustration. I knew this meant Nate would need to stay home to get the motor fixed and then milk by himself. All week we were looking forward to share Everett’s special day together. All week we had talked about, “Everett’s special day.” My heart sank even further. Why? Why today, of all days?

This is the part of dairy farming that is hard. The times when things happen completely out of our control and no matter what, the farm always comes first. The cows always come before all else. This is the hard part to swallow at times. The times we look forward to and are greatly disappointed because it wasn’t a good day on the farm. The hard part is this isn’t the first time of disappointments and for sure it won’t be the last.

When Thanksgiving morning comes, I usually get glimpses of the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade on TV between chores and cleaning the house at the last minute. When I say glimpses, I see one float. My dream is to one day attend the parade in New York City.

But, there is a parade, which isn’t as far away that I look forward to all year long and we can make it to every year. The Santa Parade in Little Falls. The Santa Parade is the day after Thanksgiving. It isn’t as glamorous as the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade but it has just as much magic. Floats are lit up with Christmas lights, kicking off the season of festivities. Some years we are digging candy out of snow banks. Some years it is so cold we are bundled in blankets on top of all of our winter gear. Some years we are racing to the end of the parade route so we won’t miss it. This year, the weather was perfect and we had plenty of time to find the perfect spot to wait for the parade to start.

At the Santa Parade in Little Falls: 2014, 2015, 2016

As each parade float passed, the excitement of Santa coming would build. Everyone looks forward to Remax’s float. The warmth of the hot air balloon warms everyone up as it passes by.

Finally, after all the candy was picked up, we oh’ed and ah’ed at each and every float that passed by and waved excitedly at everyone we knew in the parade – the jolly man in a red suit himself passed by.

There is nothing more magical than the streets of Little Falls full of little kids waving and yelling in excitement, “Hi Santa!” The wonderment filling their voices at seeing Santa.

For now, I will look forward to the Santa Parade and dream about one day going to the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade.

The kids and I baked a pumpkin pie for Thanksgiving.  Everett sings a new song he learned at school and Vivian shows us all her many personalities.  This is real life baking with kids!

Everett, Vivian and I baked some chocolate chip cookies.  Everett loves baking and Vivian loves taste testing.

Every once in a while an article will pop up about why farm kids are so healthy.  Usually these articles have fancy words and lots of statistics.  I sometimes am left wondering if they really know what they are talking about.  It is really simple why farm kids are healthy.  Drum roll……..  THEY GET DIRTY!  They get really dirty.  I mean dirty.  Their hands get dirty.  Their clothes get dirty.  Their faces are dirty.  They get dirty.  Really dirty.  End of study.

Lets take a closer look how farm kids exactly get dirty.  Farm kids are exposed to lots of different germs and bugs that urban kids are not exposed to.  So this might gross you out but this is how it works.  Everett and Vivian pet the cows, touch silage, pet our dogs Eva or Bosco (who have walked through cow pop sometime through out the day)  At some point in time Vivian will pick her nose.  Everett will wipe his face with the back of a shirt sleeve or eat their snacks without washing their hands.  Gasp!  (I heard you gasp.)  Farm kids are exposed to cows sneezing, pooping and doing other cows things which are not very “germ free”.  Farm kids have baby calves lick them.  Farm kids come into the house after playing outside and need to take their clothes off pretty much at the door or at a designated “farm” area in the house.  Why you ask, because their clothes have cow poop on them.  Farm kids breathe in dust from hay, dust from dirt roads and dandruff from animals.  Everett will pick up a wrench in the barn to “fix” something which has grease, oil, or poop on it.  Farm kids hands play in dirt, catch frogs, worms and snake.  Farm kids catch insects.  Farm kids nurse birds with broken wings back to health.  All of these things contribute to one healthy farm kid.

There’s the study.  Plan, simple and understandable.  Now if I can just figure out a way to receive a university grant for my study.

As I stand before my sink washing the dishes for what feels like the 100th time of the day, I hear the rumble of a tractor.  The rattle of corn kernels flowing through the auger into the grain bin outside our front door.  I see Everett following his dad closely.  Watching his dad’s every move.  I know one day it will be Everett setting up augers and moving gravity boxes around the yard.  On my kitchen window sill sits a pile of Box for Tops for school which have been collected throughout the summer.  An ornament from my cousin to remind me Miracles do happen, she gave it to me when Vivian was born.  A time when Vivian was our miracle and continues to be.  A sea shell made into a turtle from my friend.  A mug with our wedding invitation verse etched on the glass.  “A new life begins between best friends with kindness and love that never ends.”  The words Nathan wrote.  A vase from my cousin’s wedding.  Other odds and ends I am not sure what to do with.

I look out my kitchen window and I can not help but think of all the generations of moms who have looked out the kitchen window of my home.  Being able to know exactly what is running by the sound.  I think of how many children have called our farm, “home”.  I think of the strong women who have raised their children here.  How many dishes have been done in this house.  I think of the girls who became young ladies, moms and then grandmas.  I think of these women and how many tears in silence they have cried feeling like the farm was eating them alive during the hard times.  I think of the young girls and boys who have worked along side their parents just like Everett and Vivian do.  Watching.  Learning.  Caring for their animals.  Milking cows.  Tending to their gardens.  Doing all they can to ensure a good crop for their cows and for their family.

Many things have changed on our farm over the last five generations.  One thing has stayed the same,  the heart of a dairy farmer.  The strength of the moms on this farm.  The women who may not have grown up on a farm but have welcomed this life with open arms because they fell in love with a dairy farmer.  The love for their children.  The love of the land and the love of their cows.  Faith has stayed the same.  Faith in God will provide for us and get us through the hard times.  Faith in God he will keep us safe.

I look at this picture and I can pick out all the things that I am failing at being a mom. Toys are scattered every where. Vivian I am sure is due for a bath I am sure she smells like a barn or is that me? I think it is both of us. Everett is on his Leap Pad, “Is he getting too much screen time?”

When was the last time I vacuumed? When did Vivian have her diapered changed? I should implement a toy pick up every night. I know that isn’t going to happen (Me enforcing it). Is that a barn boot in the living room. Are those corn kernels in Everett’s wagons? I can pick out every detail I feel I am failing at motherhood. Every single detail.

I close my eyes. I look again. I can see all the things I am rocking at. Vivian loves books. She is always sitting there looking at each and every page of a book. Everett is completely content: being in the barn or outside, carpet farming, playing in his sandbox, looking at Pokemon cards or here on his Leap Pad. My children are free to be messy. My children are free to let their imaginations soar.

On days when I feel I am failing them I remind myself, “God has chosen me to be their mother and only me. God hand picked me to be the mother of Everett and Vivian.” So, Mommas when you feel you are failing God chose you and only you to be the mom to your children.

There is nothing better in fall time than to bake an apple pie.  There is nothing better than to bake with my two favorite little people.